Why I Gossiped and What I Now Do Instead
“Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss people.” ~Eleanor Roosevelt I stopped gossiping when life humbled me. I didn’t realize at the time, but what I thought was just innocent girl talk with my friends was really a way to escape my own shame and insecurity. I had this quiet, ongoing sense that I wasn’t […]
Why Ghosting Hurts So Much
In my clinical practice, many clients speak of their use of ghosting as an interpersonal strategy, or of the pain of being ghosted. In the former, ghosting can be a way of establishing boundaries without the dread of confrontation. In the latter, ghosting can conflates the pain of abandonment with the uncertainties and ambiguities of […]
Mastering the Art of Relationship Repair
Conflicts, arguments, and ruptures are inevitable in any relationship, especially in intimate ones. No matter how much love exists between two people, moments of conflicting needs, disconnection, misunderstanding, and emotional pain will arise. The question is not whether conflict will take place, but rather, whether we know how to manage it and, even more critically, […]
Why I Let My Kids See My Sadness Now (After Hiding It for Years)
“I will not teach or love or show you anything perfectly, but I will let you see me, and I will always hold sacred the gift of seeing you—truly, deeply, seeing you.” ~Brené Brown The first time my kids saw me truly cry was Christmas of 2021. My oldest was sixteen, and my youngest was twelve. […]
Why Forgiving Ourselves Feels So Hard—and What Helps
When my newborn daughter was two days old, I told my husband to call 911. She refused to eat and seemed lethargic, even for a newborn. But then I wavered, believing it was my postpartum hormones overreacting. Instead, I kept vigil over her all night and brought her to the pediatrician the next morning. He […]
Anxiety Sucks, But It Taught Me These 7 Important Things
“Anxiety is the dizziness of freedom.” ~Soren Kierkegaard Let’s be clear: This isn’t an article about positive thinking. This isn’t an article about how silver linings make everything okay. This isn’t an article about how your perspective on anxiety is all wrong. The kids call those things “toxic positivity.” No toxic positivity here. This is an article […]
How Fear of Separation is Reshaping Latino…
Family separation has become embedded into the cultural fabric of Latinos in the United States and can manifest itself in different ways across time and space, according to many researchers. This dynamic becomes especially visible during periods of heightened immigration enforcement. Parents weigh whether it is safe to take their child to the doctor. Teenagers […]
Growth Mindset: Parenting for Possibility
Emotions Coaching and Growth Mindset Dr. John Gottman’s approach of emotion coaching dovetails nicely with the concept of growth mindset. Emotion coaching is about helping your child recognize their feeling, naming the emotion, showing empathy and limit setting. When your child is frustrated, overwhelmed, or upset, you might want to fix the problem quickly or […]
What Is a Superbill? And Can It Be Used for Therapy?
A superbill is a detailed receipt that a therapist provides to a client after a session. Unlike a simple invoice, it contains the specific information an insurance company needs to process an out-of-network reimbursement claim. For many clients — particularly those seeking specialized care like Gottman Method Couples Therapy, where trained therapists often practice outside […]
Parenting a Child With Pathological Demand Avoidance
I work with many parents who suspect their child might have pathological demand avoidance (PDA). They are overwhelmed and report difficulty finding health care professionals who understand their experiences. What Is Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA)? PDA is a pattern of behavior that occurs in some children and adults with neurodiverse presentations, such as autism, ADHD, […]