The Truth About My Marriage I Finally Had to Face
“You don’t have to set yourself on fire to keep other people warm.” ~Unknown Tomorrow, a court will grant me a divorce after eleven years of marriage. I’ve spent the last several months rereading a decade of my own life like evidence in a case, trying to understand how I got here. What I found […]
How I’ve Stopped Letting My Unhealed Parents Define My Worth
“Detachment is not about refusing to feel or not caring or turning away from those you love. Detachment is profoundly honest, grounded firmly in the truth of what is.” ~Sharon Salzberg A few months ago, my father informed me that he’d been diagnosed with prostate cancer. Although he seemed optimistic about the treatment, I knew […]
In the Face of Crisis, Psychologists Urge a Return to…
As numerous surveys suggest, people today often feel overwhelmed by new technology, global crises, and loneliness. What do the nation’s psychologists recommend? At the annual convention of the American Psychological Association last month in Washington D.C., that turned out to be a return to the basics: tending to our bodies, connecting in-person, and caring for […]
You Might Be Experiencing Rustout, Not Burnout, at Work
Some forms of distress at work are easy to recognize because they interrupt someone’s daily performance and the work of those around them: For example, a person on your team becomes visibly exhausted, they are irritable, or they’re frequently absent. But other forms of distress are harder to see precisely because the work continues uninterrupted. […]
From Hyper-Independent to Human: Learning How to Accept Help
“Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it’s having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome.” ~Brené Brown It happened on a regular Tuesday night over the smallest thing. I was cooking dinner after a really long, exhausting day at my job. I spent the whole day […]
When Doing More Is Really an Attempt to Control the Outcome
“Uncertainty is the only certainty there is, and knowing how to live with insecurity is the only security.” ~John Allen Paulos I refreshed the analytics page even though I had checked it only a few minutes earlier. The number had not changed, so I opened the project, reread the opening line, tested a button, and […]
Am I Doing This Right? Teen Edition
Parenting a teen can sometimes make you nostalgic for the early years, when you could still scoop up a frustrated toddler and redirect her with bubbles. In the teen years, sweet hugs can provoke eye rolls; a well-intentioned “How was your day?” may be misconstrued as meddling. That’s just your teens becoming independent. Decades of […]
When Your Sadness Starts Coloring Everything
“Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response.” ~Viktor Frankl A few weeks ago, I moved to a new city for a new job, leaving behind a quiet hill town where I had built five years of friendships, routines, and a version of myself I […]
Eight Fun Ways to Keep Your Summer Alive
Backpack-and-pencil time is just about here, but it’s not too late to treat yourself to a healthy dose of summer joy. There’s no need to feel bad about stretching that vacation feeling out as long as you can. These eight mini-vacations for the mind and spirit require no suitcases to pack (and unpack), no expensive […]
How Can We Make Relationships the Heart of Schools?
Ask any educator today, and they’ll tell you that relationships across the board are strained in schools. Our educational landscape is rife with sociopolitical pressures: political polarization, disagreements over the teaching of race and LGBTQ+ rights that lead to restrictions on addressing particular topics, curriculum debates and questions about the effectiveness of inclusive education that […]