How to Stop Letting Anxiety Control Your Reactions
“Physical Self-awareness is the first step in releasing the tyranny of the past.” ~ Bessel van der Kolk For years, I thought my anxiety was a character flaw. I thought I could think my way through it. Reason with myself long enough, and I’d finally get to the other side of it. I never did. Every time I thought I had made peace with it, something small would happen, and […]
How I’ve Stopped Letting My Unhealed Parents Define My Worth
“Detachment is not about refusing to feel or not caring or turning away from those you love. Detachment is profoundly honest, grounded firmly in the truth of what is.” ~Sharon Salzberg A few months ago, my father informed me that he’d been diagnosed with prostate cancer. Although he seemed optimistic about the treatment, I knew […]
Same Café, New Me: How I Found Freedom Without Changing My Life
“Trauma creates change you don’t choose. Healing is about creating change you do choose.” ~Michelle Rosenthal” Today I am sitting in my favorite café in Venice Mall. I got my favorite seat, the one near the water. I have spent countless hours here. I have cried here. Journaled here. Drawn here. Consoled myself here. There […]
Anxiety Sucks, But It Taught Me These 7 Important Things
“Anxiety is the dizziness of freedom.” ~Soren Kierkegaard Let’s be clear: This isn’t an article about positive thinking. This isn’t an article about how silver linings make everything okay. This isn’t an article about how your perspective on anxiety is all wrong. The kids call those things “toxic positivity.” No toxic positivity here. This is an article […]
How Trauma Hijacks Your Brain (and How EMDR Can Help)
Over a year ago, I wrote a post about how trauma is “not just in your head”. Here, I follow it up with corroborating evidence. I’ve dedicated most of my life to treating trauma using emotionally-focused and EMDR therapies. And I’ve been ceaselessly obsessed with how and why it works. I also see versions of […]
Trauma, Darkness, and the Powerful Therapy That’s Helping Me Heal
Want more posts like this in your life? Join the Tiny Buddha list for daily or weekly insights. Trigger Warning: This piece contains references to childhood trauma, depression, and suicidal thoughts. Please take care of yourself as you read, and step away if you need to. If you are struggling, you are not alone — […]
How Understanding Complex Trauma Deepened My Ability to Love Myself
“Being present for your own life is the most radical act of Self-compassion you can offer yourself.” ~Sylvia Boorstein In 2004, I experienced a powerful breakthrough in understanding what it meant to love myself. I could finally understand that self-love is about the relationship that you have with yourself, and that relationship is expressed in […]
Beyond Coping: How to Heal Generational Trauma with Breathwork
“Healing doesn’t mean the damage never existed. It means the damage no longer controls our lives.” ~Akshay Dubey The realization came to me during a chaotic day at the Philadelphia public school where I worked as a counselor. A young student sat across from me, her body language mirroring anxiety patterns I knew all too […]
Where Race and Caste Collide in Trauma Recovery
In the United States, the language of race is always close to the surface—coded in ZIP codes, school districts, traffic stops, and sentencing disparities. But caste walks in differently. It is quieter, more camouflaged, wrapped in euphemisms like “merit,” “culture,” “upbringing,” or “respectability.” It is dressed up in family WhatsApp threads and diaspora fundraisers. It […]
Therapy Isn’t Something to Be Ashamed Of
As a therapist, as well as someone who goes to therapy, I can speak firsthand about the importance of attending therapy. Think of it this way: you are driving your car and suddenly you hear a funny noise. At first, you ignore it and hope it goes away. But over time, the noise starts to […]