Last week, someone I’ve been working with for over a year – let’s call her “Liz” – entered the therapy room looking absolutely defeated. Before I could ask a single question, Liz broke down into full-body sobs, “Maybe if I’d never met him, I wouldn’t be so damn fragile.” Together, we began to explore this sentiment. I was curious why this relationship, which ended two decades ago, was coming up now. Apparently, while absently scrolling in the lobby ahead of our session, Liz had encountered an Instagram reel saying that Highly Sensitive Persons (HSPs) like herself are invariably victims of trauma. This tossed-off claim triggered a false connection for Liz, painting the pain of that past relationship as the root source of her sensitivity.
Oof. That was not the first time I had heard that misconception, and it is one that makes me bristle. I have big feelings about people equating sensitivity to trauma because I am not only a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) but also an HSP therapist. To set the record straight: High sensitivity does not result from trauma.
This popular trauma myth is problematic for three reasons:
- It is simply not true. Research indicates that high sensitivity (or similar constructs such as sensory processing sensitivity (SPS)) is a trait HSPs are born with and carry throughout their lives.
- It can trap you in unhelpful, backward-facing narratives. Revisiting your worst experiences and getting bogged down in hypothetical “What ifs” only creates more pain in the present.
- When HSPs attribute their sensitivity to trauma, they are more likely to miss the many beneficial aspects of their heightened abilities.
What Research Tells Us About Sensitivity
Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) have unique neurological wiring. Elaine Aron and colleagues (2012) reported, “In our samples, typically between 10% and 35% fell into the highly sensitive category, depending on the sample.” These researchers also suggest that over 100 animal species possess the trait of being more perceptive of and responsive to their environment.
Numerous constructs describe the quality of being more sensitive (or responsive) to one’s environment, including high sensitivity, sensory processing sensitivity, biological sensitivity to context, and environmental sensitivity. When studying the construct in dogs, this trait is referred to as canine sensory processing sensitivity.
Over twenty years of academic research indicates that if you are highly sensitive, you were most likely born highly sensitive. You did not become an HSP overnight; you have always been this way.
HSPs and Chronic Misattunement
Many HSPs grow up in environments in which their caregivers repeatedly misunderstand their natural sensitivity. This unfortunate pattern is called chronic misattunement. From a statistical perspective, it is easy to see why this is common, as approximately 65% to 90% of parents and teachers of HSPs are not highly sensitive themselves.
In response to their genuine experiences and emotional reactions, sensitive children will often hear dismissive statements from adults like “It’s not a big deal,” “Toughen up,” or “Stop being so dramatic.” When someone experiences chronic invalidation (being told over and over again that their experience is inaccurate), they are more likely to believe something is wrong with them, which may result in repressive tendencies, low self-esteem, and increases in anxiety and depression.
This is not a chicken-or-the-egg situation. Those self-concept and emotional regulation issues did not create the sensitivity; they arose due to the misattunement.
Where Trauma Does Come Into Play
The frequent confusion about the interplay of sensitivity and trauma is certainly understandable. While being an HSP is not caused by trauma, difficult life experiences are amplified by high sensitivity.
The Differential Susceptibility theory, which proposes that individuals vary in their sensitivity to environmental influences, can help us understand the relationship between sensitivity and trauma. Since HSPs process stimuli more intensely, they are more negatively impacted by criticism, chaotic environments, and emotional neglect than non-HSPs. In other words, highly sensitive individuals find themselves affected more by traumatic experiences.
Highly Sensitive Person Essential Reads
It is also important to acknowledge the other side. Yes, HSPs feel more deeply in response to negative experiences and benefit more than others from encouragement, enrichment, and emotional validation. Studies show that HSPs in nurturing and affirming environments excel more than non-HSPs in the domains of creativity and Emotional intelligence.
Moving Forward
If you’re an HSP who has experienced trauma, please know both things to be true: You are naturally sensitive, and you had difficult experiences that impact how you relate to that sensitivity. Working with a therapist who understands HSPs can help you untangle these interrelated truths and develop strategies that honor your innate traits and lived experiences.
To find a therapist, visit the Psychology Today Therapy Directory.
