4 Ways to Stay Close When Growing in Different Directions
Like with all living things, our relationships are constantly evolving. The person we’ve become can look very different from who we were at the beginning of our relationship. Our needs and desires should naturally change, hopefully, as we grow closer to our true selves. This is a good thing, right? Absolutely. Continued development is the […]
How to Embrace Elective (not Mandatory) Forgiveness After Trauma
Do I need to forgive my abusive mother to let go of the past? This is the question I found myself grappling with when I started to recover from the pain of childhood neglect. For most of my childhood, I did not have access to a consistent adult who valued me. As a result, I […]
Emotional Intelligence vs. Being Emotional
In recent years, “Emotional intelligence” has become a buzzword in conversations about Self-awareness, communication, and personal growth. However, despite the term’s growing popularity, a widespread misunderstanding remains: Many people equate Emotional intelligence with being emotional. While both involve emotions, they are vastly different concepts. This confusion can lead to misconceptions about what it means to […]
How I Found Emotional Freedom and 3 Unexpected Benefits
“We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty.” ~Maya Angelou What if the person you’re trying hardest to please is you? For years, I wore a mask—a professional, composed, always-on version of myself that I thought everyone expected. My need to please […]
The Growth That Happens When You’re in Between Chapters
“The most powerful thing you can do right now is be patient while things are unfolding for you.” ~Idil Ahmed When one door closes, another one opens, or so the saying goes. From experience, I know that the new door doesn’t always open right away. Often you spend some time in the hallway, the state […]
Eight Tips For Talking With Your Kids About Death
Parents have many tough conversations with their kids. We explain to stubborn toddlers why it’s important to share their toys and talk with disappointed elementary schoolers about their feelings after losing a game. Some conversations are more challenging than others, such as discussing why Mommy and Daddy don’t live in the same house anymore. Among […]
An Unconventional Path to Relieving Stress and Anxiety
What if you could reduce your stress and anxiety when dealing with difficult life situations by changing the way you think about the issue that is causing those negative feelings? Challenges are sometimes inescapable, but there is a set of questions drawn from the psychological discipline known as cognitive reframing, that has been shown to […]
How to Live a Joy-Filled Life with Chronic Illness
“Living with chronic illness isn’t a life half-lived; it’s an opportunity to redefine what it means to be truly alive, resilient, and whole.” ~Christopher Reynolds I have spent the past eleven years of my life in chronic pain. While this journey has been long, excruciatingly difficult, and deeply lonely, I am beginning to come to peace […]
Eldest Children Suffer Under Coercive Control Domestic Violence
Co-authored with Julie Nee All children suffer in families where one partner abuses and controls the other (Stark, 2023). In our work, we have seen that first-born child often suffer the most. In coercive control, one person dominates their partner through tactics including intimidation, isolation, and emotional, physical, sexual, and financial abuse (Fontes, 2015). Coercive […]
Levels of Care in a County Mental-Health System
My intention in writing these posts is to share the experiences that I went through with my son, starting with the first manifestation of his illness and our journey through numerous subsequent episodes. It’s also to provide commentary as a parent and psychiatrist on issues that these experiences bring up, such as how the diagnostic […]