Consider Ms. McDaniels.

She’s a dedicated high school teacher who arrives early each day to prepare for her lessons and often stays late to offer extra help to students. Sarah McDaniels also takes work home, spending her evenings grading papers and planning future classes. Despite her passion, she feels exhausted and disconnected from her family and friends. Maybe you can relate to Sarah.

But there is a solution to Sarah’s problem: boundaries.

Boundary-setting is a form of Self-compassion, a concept extensively researched by Kristin Neff. Self-compassion involves treating oneself with the same kindness and understanding that one would offer to a friend. It consists of three main components:

• Self-kindness: Being warm and understanding toward oneself rather than self-critical.
• Common humanity: Recognizing that suffering and personal inadequacy are part of the shared human experience.
• Mindfulness: Holding one’s painful thoughts and feelings in balanced awareness rather than overidentifying.

When educators set boundaries, they practice self-kindness by acknowledging their needs and limits. They recognize the common humanity in needing rest and personal time, understanding that these needs are universal and legitimate. Mindfulness helps educators stay aware of their stress levels and emotional states, allowing them to take proactive steps to care for themselves.

Boundary setting can lead to numerous positive outcomes, including reduced stress, increased job satisfaction, and better overall well-being. By establishing clear limits, educators can create a sustainable balance between their professional duties and personal lives, essential for long-term career fulfilment.

Of course, setting boundaries isn’t always easy—and students, parents, colleagues, and administrators may not be pleased when they encounter them.

However, boundary setting is essential for maintaining well-being and fostering healthy relationships. When we establish clear boundaries, we communicate our values, needs, and limits, which helps others understand where we stand. By respecting boundaries, we create an environment of mutual respect and trust where everyone knows what to expect and how to interact to honor each other’s space and emotions. It’s an invitation to engage with one another more authentically and respectfully, where everyone’s well-being is prioritized. And when we model and respect boundaries, we empower others to do the same, contributing to a culture of understanding and compassion.

Getting fierce about boundaries

Neff and her colleague Christopher Germer have explored the concept of “fierce Self-compassion.” This form of Self-compassion emphasizes protective and empowering actions individuals can take to care for themselves and others. For educators, fierce Self-compassion involves taking assertive steps to set and maintain boundaries, ensuring that their needs are met alongside their professional responsibilities. That can include:

• Protecting: Defending oneself from harm, including emotional and physical exhaustion. For educators, this might mean limiting the time spent on work-related tasks outside school hours.
• Providing: Ensuring that one’s own needs are met, such as scheduling time for rest, hobbies, and family. This proactive approach helps prevent burnout and maintain a healthy work-life balance.
• Motivating: Encouraging oneself to strive for a balanced and fulfilling life. Setting realistic goals and acknowledging achievements can boost morale and sustain the long-term passion for teaching.

Imagine our teacher, Ms. McDaniels, finishing up a long day of teaching and heading home…and then a colleague asks for help with a last-minute project. Sarah feels the pressure to say yes, fearing that declining might come across as uncooperative or unsupportive. However, she is already exhausted and has plans for much-needed rest. At this moment, her boundary is being threatened. She knows that if she agrees, it will push her past her limits, compromising her well-being.

To support herself, Sarah can tap into her fierce Self-compassion. She can acknowledge her fatigue and the importance of her own needs over those of her colleagues. With a firm yet kind tone, Sarah can respond by saying, “I understand this project is important, but I’m unable to assist right now because I need to rest. Perhaps we can find another solution or connect tomorrow.”

Standing up for herself protects her energy and models healthy boundary-setting, demonstrating that self-care is valid and necessary for sustained effectiveness as an educator.

Practical strategies for setting boundaries

So, how do we practice boundary-setting with fierce Self-compassion?

To integrate boundary-setting into their lives, educators can adopt the following strategies:

• Prioritize self-care: Make time for activities that nourish your body and mind. Schedule regular exercise, maintain a healthy diet, and ensure you get adequate sleep. Engaging in hobbies and spending time with loved ones can provide a much-needed break from work-related stress.
• Set clear work hours: Define specific times for work and personal life. For example, decide not to check emails after a particular hour in the evening or on weekends. Communicate these boundaries to colleagues, students, and parents to manage expectations.
• Learn to say no: Recognize limits and avoid overcommitting. Decreasing additional responsibilities or extracurricular activities can help keep your workload manageable.
• Seek support: Build a positive support network among colleagues, friends, and family. Sharing your experiences and challenges with others can provide valuable insights and encouragement. Consider joining professional learning communities or seeking mentorship for additional guidance. Check out Greater Good Educators Program.

Recognizing and respecting other people’s boundaries is also crucial in creating a psychologically safe and supportive school environment. Boundaries are personal limits that protect our emotional, mental, and physical well-being. When we honor these limits in others and ourselves, we contribute to a culture of respect and trust.

That means understanding that students, colleagues, and parents have different needs, stressors, and capacities in a school setting. Respecting someone’s boundary might involve accepting a student’s request for extra time on an assignment, recognizing when a colleague needs uninterrupted planning time, or understanding when a parent needs a break from school-related communications.

In honoring those boundaries, we validate the other person’s experience and create a space where they feel seen and respected. This, in turn, fosters open communication, reduces stress, and builds stronger, more trusting relationships within the school community.

However, creating a culture of boundaries and fierce Self-compassion in schools goes beyond individual interactions; it requires systemic support and intentional practices that reinforce these values. Educators can lead by example by openly discussing the importance of boundaries and practicing Self-compassion in their daily lives.

For instance, when teachers set clear limits on their availability, such as not answering emails after a certain hour, they model the importance of work-life balance for students and colleagues. When educators practice Self-compassion, they experience less burnout and gain greater Emotional resilience, positively impacting their teaching and student interactions. This practice can create a ripple; encouraging students to set their boundaries and respect those of others also helps them develop critical social-emotional skills. In a classroom where the educator models and values boundaries, students learn it’s OK to say no, ask for help, or request space when needed—skills essential for their well-being and future success. By integrating these practices into the fabric of school life, we create an environment where everyone can thrive, supported by a culture that values respect, empathy, and self-care.

So, as educators return to the classroom this fall, let’s embrace boundary-setting and fierce Self-compassion as vital practices for well-being and positive cultures. By understanding the science behind boundary-setting and implementing practical strategies, educators can create a healthy balance between their professional and personal lives.