Is any profession immune from inappropriate comments made to women? Many might think that clergywomen are cut some slack, but, unfortunately, that is not the case. Like most spiritual leaders, both men and women feel called to their profession by a higher power. Women, however, seem to be judged by different standards than their male colleagues.
As part of a video project to raise awareness of the challenges female pastors face, the North Carolina Conference of the United Methodist Church invited male pastors to read comments that were made by men to their female clergy colleagues. The male pastors who agreed to be in the video were not shown the comments in advance.
Here are some of the comments they read:
“You’re going to hell you know. God doesn’t permit women to preach. It’s in the Bible.”
“I keep picturing you naked under your robe.”
“No woman will ever be my pastor.”
“If God can use a donkey, I guess He can use a woman in ministry.”
“During Holy Communion, it’s hard for me to concentrate when you say, “This is my body given for you.” I think about your body, not Jesus’ body.”
“If more men would step up and do what God was calling them to do, we wouldn’t need the weaker sex to preach.”
“You better be careful eating so much. You don’t want to lose that schoolgirl figure. “
“We’re just a little country church and we have to take what we can get. “
“This is our little girl preacher.”
The full range of comments and the reactions of the clergymen can be viewed here:
The clergymen were furious and appalled at what their clergywomen colleagues were having to deal with. Many were in disbelief.
When the video debuted in 2019 at the church’s annual conference, it got a standing ovation. Retired North Carolina Bishop Hope Morgan Ward said, “The video project has been a gift to women whose experience had been heard and honored, to men who demonstrated commitment to honoring of clergywomen, to all who have seen the video and been freshly awakened to the realities still among us.”
One clergywoman reported she had been offered a significant raise by her church when she became a senior pastor. However, the bishop at the time reduced her salary by $5,000 stating, “It would be bad for your husband’s self-esteem if you made so much money. Since your husband is also clergy, it might be hard on your marriage.”
Research reported by DATA USA in 2021 showed the average salary for clergymen was $51,967, compared to $39,075 for clergywomen. At that time, the clergy workforce consisted of 455,608 people, 80.3% men and 19.7% women. There is still a long way to go for equality in pay, respect, leadership and acceptance of women in the faith community.
Women clergy face many built-in biases. Often there is the assumption that they are the pastor’s wife, not the pastor. They are seen as having roles supporting their husband’s pastoral duties, making coffee for meetings, and helping around the office.
Susan, a single pastor, was introducing herself to her new congregation. She was engaged in a conversation with a church member about work/life balance when she was asked if she was dating or if she was just a workaholic. Susan was taken aback by the undertones about her sexuality and being in the market for a husband.
How to respond when questions and statements carry a lot of innuendo? A quick assessment of the situation and the commenter’s perspective can help guide an appropriate response. Sometimes it is best to ignore remarks and innuendos that are inappropriate or none of anther’s business. However, if your style is straightforward, a direct response might open the door for a transformative conversation in which much is to be gained for both parties.
Surprisingly, outrageous things are clearly being said to women who have already broken the stained glass ceiling. We applaud the clergywomen continuing to tell their stories. Amen!