Why Knowing Better Doesn’t Always Help You Change
“You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.” ~Jon Kabat-Zinn My three-and-a-half-year-old daughter was playing at the park when her eyes began crossing and uncrossing. One moment she was moving through the afternoon like any other little girl, and the next I was watching her face, trying to understand what I was […]
When You Think You Know Yourself, but You’re Wrong
I know myself pretty well by now. I’ve had seven decades to work on the case, and I’m not exactly known for leaving a question alone. I know what matters to me. What gives me energy. What drains it. What I want more of. And what I have absolutely no intention of putting up with […]
Same Café, New Me: How I Found Freedom Without Changing My Life
“Trauma creates change you don’t choose. Healing is about creating change you do choose.” ~Michelle Rosenthal” Today I am sitting in my favorite café in Venice Mall. I got my favorite seat, the one near the water. I have spent countless hours here. I have cried here. Journaled here. Drawn here. Consoled myself here. There […]
What Helped Me When My Life Felt Uncertain and Unstable
“Sticking with uncertainty is how we learn to relax in the midst of chaos, how we learn to be cool when the ground beneath us suddenly disappears.” ~Pema Chödrön Evicted. The word stared up at me from the letter in my hands. It was the summer of 2022, near the tail end of the Covid […]
Can Self-Compassion Change the Way You See Society?
Ever since I was introduced to mindfulness, I have contemplated the image of the monk spending his days meditating in a cave deep in the foothills of the Himalayas. It seems like enlightenment might be slightly more attainable without the daily annoyances of traffic, parking tickets, taxes, and endless commercials. For most of us, however, […]
What Does It Take to Make Systemic Change in Education?
In 2017, Brent Malicote, the associate superintendent at the Sacramento County Office of Education (SCOE), asked superintendent Dave Gordon for $35,000 to try something small. The plan was simple: bring Sacramento educators together for a community of practice on social-emotional learning (SEL). He didn’t know if anyone would show up, but the free event quickly […]
How to Intentionally Change Your Personality
When we talk about our personality, many of us treat it as a fixed, unchanging part of us. But the truth is our personality can evolve and often does, even without us deliberately trying. For example, many of us are more open to new experiences and willing to take more risks when we’re younger, and […]
How to Change Your Bad Habits by Accepting Them
“If you don’t like something, change it; if you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.” ~Mary Engelbreit “So, what do you think?” my husband asked, the dinner table lit by the soft glow of the overhead light. He’d been talking for a while, and I knew I should have been listening. […]
Is Climate Change Hurting Our Relationships?
Residents of Asheville, North Carolina, and Lahaina, Maui, are still trying to rebuild their lives after their cities were decimated by extreme weather—a tropical storm in Asheville and a wildfire in Lahaina—in 2023. Meanwhile, residents of Los Angeles County have barely begun rebuilding, after numerous fires in January forced tens of thousands to evacuate and […]
Choosing Reflection in Times of Change
Time moves slowly in the desert. Since relocating here in September, I wake with the light, like it or not. My closest local friend lives an hour and a half away. My husband and I have each other—thrilling in a second marriage in which we’ve never before lived alone without kids. Still, it’d been 30-plus […]