Ask yourself of whatever you hear: Is it true? This fundamental teaching relates to mindfulness and to all of life. Be skeptical and think for yourself. Change only happens when you believe on a gut level that action is needed.
The world is in crisis. It always has been, but it feels particularly intense lately. The incidence of stress, anxiety, and Mental health concerns keeps rising, particularly in teens. Increasingly, the question arises: How do we stay strong and joyful amid the relentless headlines and chaos?
Ask yourself, then, does the following advice sound true? Even in our unsettled, tech-driven world, the science of well-being has not changed. The same answer to what keeps people resilient applies in this moment as it has across generations. We are pushed toward lifestyles and mental habits that wear us down. To flourish, we must counter that experience with foundational, age-old choices that parents and their children have always relied on.
- Foster stable relationships: For children and adults, resilience starts with having at least one or two consistently supportive emotional relationships. That is something any caretaker can provide in any situation. There isn’t always a way to fix everything, and advice isn’t always wanted. Offer your full presence to listen, to share, to comfort, and to provide reliable emotional support across time.
- Maintain a healthy lifestyle: Our bodies rely on sleep, exercise, and healthy nutrition. Exercise and sleep are fundamental to mental health. Outdoor time may have additional benefits. Around nutrition, a range of healthy ways to eat exist, all of which minimize processed and high-fat foods. Eating like this is more easily taught as a way of living than as an intervention, and all these core health habits grow out of choices we make and model as caretakers.
- Encourage a growth mindset: What any of us can truly influence at any moment is the effort and intention we put into the situation we face. And yet we live in a culture that emphasizes results—goal-oriented, click-oriented success. Teach children that their effort matters, along with learning from mistakes, not fixed outcomes like getting all A’s. With that perspective, they learn to persist, solve problems, and develop confidence in their ability to manage demanding situations. Take the same approach as an adult; to avoid burnout, focus your attention and effort where they have the most impact. Managing challenges relies on letting go of perfection, taking small, realistic steps, and adjusting when something goes awry.
- Practice gratitude and kindness: Two well-known ways to feel happier are practicing gratitude and kindness. Gratitude practice is an unforced reminder that even in the middle of a mess, things exist to be grateful for. For example, how many people participated in getting your latest meal to the table? Similarly, the Dalai Lama has described the idea of “selfish kindness”—when we are kind to others, that not only helps them feel better, but we also end up feeling better too.
- Practice mindfulness and compassion: The reality of change and uncertainty in our lives often makes us feel unbalanced, unhappy, or angry. That experience leads to stress and reactivity, which then affects how we act and think. That pattern leads us away from our own best intentions. The goal of practice is not a still mind, to relax, or to be happy all the time. Instead, we build skills that let us meet real life with intention and compassion. Contemplative practice improves many aspects of Mental health. It starts with adults practicing themselves, teaching by example, while planting seeds for children to learn when they are ready.
- Manage technology: Are you using technology or being used by it? Granted, this item does not go back generations, but it protects the things that do. Modern devices are highly curated to possess our attention and influence behavior. Kids cannot, by nature, navigate that interaction well and therefore require adult guidance. Pay attention when you or your child uses a device as to why it’s being used, how much it’s being used, and what the user is putting energy into. Monitor screen time, pick useful apps and delete others, and avoid doomscrolling or mindless scrolling. Stay mindful of how technology influences your family through modeling, educating, and consistent limit setting.
- Focus on strengths: To support a sense of self-efficacy, give attention to and nurture each child’s abilities and healthy passions. Especially if they are struggling elsewhere, this connection with success and joy supports self-image and confidence.
- Honor Mental health and child development: The brain is an organ, and like any organ, it has its own genetic programming. ADHD, anxiety, depression, and other conditions are real. Learning disabilities exist. In both schools and families, seek out evidence-based solutions. There are huge and upsetting challenges many families and children must navigate, and while doing what can be done to stay resilient still applies, so do proven and assertive interventions and supports.
To flourish, prioritize what keeps you and your family strong. All any of us can do is make intentional choices about whatever is happening right now. Both our children and the world rely on us to stay strong and take precise action when it’s time for that.
Sometimes, when we pause, we identify a problem to take care of. Often, that’s not possible, as things happen outside our influence. When life feels out of control, by getting back to the basics, we can reassure ourselves that on that day, we have done what needed to be done, step by step, one moment at a time.