One day in seventh grade, my “training bra” fell out of my bag at school. A few boys got hold of it, tossed it around jokingly, and were inspired to give me the nickname “NoMo” for no movement, an apt but cruel description of my breasts, which certainly didn’t move or bounce like those of some of the other girls. For a few weeks, I endured the teasing, but then the event and the nickname faded. Yet it remains one of those embarrassing memories that, until now, I’ve only shared with a few people.

There’s one thing about the incident that I’m glad about: that it happened before the advent of social media. If the same thing had happened today, chances are there’d be a video about it that was uploaded, then shared schoolwide and beyond, leading to hundreds of mocking and cruel comments by people known and unknown.

The speed and ferocity of social media can be devastating to an adolescent’s Mental health and self-esteem. Think back to middle school, when your hormones were raging, your parents were annoying, and your friends meant everything. Imagine how you might have felt if an embarrassing event was recorded, commented on, and shared to friends and random people across social media. You might have been called ugly and stupid. Strangers might even try to persuade you to “unalive” yourself, in social media parlance. Add sexual solicitation, bullying, body-shaming, isolation, reduced social skills, and the compulsive qualities of online use to the risks of social media, and we understand why the Surgeon General, Dr. Vivek Murthy, is ringing the alarm bells — and why attorney generals of 42 states and U.S. territories joined together to call on congress to pass legislation implementing Murthy’s proposal to require official warnings on social media platforms.

The Surgeon General’s call to action is appropriate and welcome

As a mom of five, ranging from 19-29, I agree 100% with Dr. Murthy’s call for warning labels to be placed on social networks. Gen Z has been subjected to a massive and risky uncontrolled experiment that’s proven to be harmful. “Evidence from tobacco studies show that warning labels can increase awareness and change behavior,” Dr. Murthy wrote in his New York Times op-ed calling for warning labels. The Surgeon General’s comparison of social media to tobacco products is on point, as social media companies’ algorithms bombard kids with content that leads to compulsive behaviors.

When a teen consumes more than three hours of social media, their risk of anxiety and depression doubles, one study found. In 2023, the average adolescent spent 4.8 hours on social media. Social media negatively impacts self-esteem, making young people feel bad about their bodies, their talents, their bank accounts, and their homes as they compare their lives to hours of curated content. Significantly higher rates of ER admissions and hospitalizations for self-harm have been recorded since the birth of social media platforms. The increase in suicide for teenage girls is on the rise in numerous countries; in fact, the suicide rate for Gen Z girls is higher than any previous generation in recorded history. Parenting has always been challenging, but we are now facing a crisis of epidemic proportions that has amped up the task of keeping our kids safe.

The consequences of cyberbullying, harassment, and sextortion are tragic

To date, the FBI has investigated 13,000 reports of “sextortion” on social media platforms–likely just a small portion of the actual number of cases, the New York Times reports. In this fast-growing crime, adults posing as teens target teens on social media, flirting with them and encouraging them to share nude selfies. If they do, the criminals then threaten to share the photos with the teens’ friends and family unless they pay up–often, many thousands of dollars. At least twenty boys targeted for sextortion have committed suicide in direct relation to this crime.

As recently reported in the New York Times, a former sex crimes prosecutor, Mr. Torrez, said that the adults posing as children found their targets by using Meta’s algorithms. The claims of Meta leaders like Mark Zuckerberg that they have parents’ interests at heart offer little comfort to parents whose children have died from sextortion and cyberbullying.

Decreased privacy and social isolation might seem contradictory, but both are prevalent in our new world of social media obsession. Less face-to-face communication keeps kids isolated, yet they can also be found and followed more easily. Because of the anonymity of social media, teens fall prey to bullies and predators. Moreover, social media users of all ages are more likely to click on news and media with negative and emotional content. This gives companies incentives to develop algorithms that keep pumping out content that is harmful to all of us, but especially to vulnerable young people.

Parents are fighting the behemoth of social media addiction on their own

The Surgeon General, doctors, social workers, teachers, and parents are all witnessing the collateral damage of social media compulsion. The cerebral cortex of adolescents and older teens isn’t adequately developed to allow them to quit or taper back on social media on their own. This means that, at this juncture, it’s up to parents to quell this epidemic. Parents have to be brave and ready to elicit tantrums and anger by setting limits and taking away electronics.

My mantra is that electronics are a privilege, not a right. I tell my younger kids that when they have jobs and can pay for their own phones, they can make their own choices. See my post on parenting in the era of screen time for strategies that helped me quell my kids’ compulsive use of social media and improve our family life.

Let’s stop the hand-wringing and demand change

It shouldn’t just be parents’ responsibility to avert the social media crisis. We as a society need to get young people out doing things – building resilience, feeling self-worth, and talking to people in person. Institutions such as schools and churches should work in collaboration with parents to get kids off their phones. Whether they engage in sports teams, chess clubs, or art lessons, there are plenty of ways to keep them learning and having fun. I’ve pushed my kids to do hard things while under my roof, and I’ve also limited their social media usage and asked them to think about the messages it sends—especially to my three daughters, who shouldn’t be measuring their physical worth against movie stars and pop icons.

The advent of a phone-based childhood versus a play-based childhood will continue to have catastrophic consequences if we allow social media platforms to grow unfettered. Platforms that dedicate time and research to figuring out new ways to gain compulsive users need to be held accountable. Warning labels are a step in the right direction.

If you or someone you love is contemplating suicide, seek help immediately. For help 24/7 dial 988 for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, or reach out to the Crisis Text Line by texting TALK to 741741. To find a therapist near you, visit the Psychology Today Therapy Directory.