Although the 2024 U.S. election has ended, many are still carrying the weight of months of political stress, regardless of the candidate they supported. Nearly 70 percent of American adults report feeling this strain (American Psychological Association, 2024). Tensions remain high, divides persist, and, perhaps most painfully, those divides are affecting relationships with friends and family they care about deeply.

I’ve felt this tension myself—wondering how to navigate conversations with people I love whose views deeply differ from mine. Some of us knew about these differences before the election, while others are just now grappling with awareness.

Around a third of adults report that the political climate has strained their relationships to the point of limiting or stopping time spent with loved ones (American Psychological Association, 2024), deepening feelings of division. Now, with the holiday season upon us and the prospect of spending time with friends or family who hold differing views, we face two difficult questions: “How do I navigate the holiday season with differences in the mix?” and “Why keep these relationships at all?”

Why Keep These Relationships?

Let’s start with what many might find the more challenging question. It’s valid to ask, “Why keep these relationships at all?” particularly when others’ political choices feel personal or even painful. While ending or “canceling” these connections might seem like the best solution in the moment, research and experience show that it often carries significant emotional and physical consequences.

Here are four science-backed reasons to consider holding on to these important relationships:

1. Black-and-white thinking fueled by anger is exhausting.

For many, the stress of political divides is compounded by black-and-white thinking, which often stems from anger. This all-or-nothing mindset can feel justified in the heat of the moment but is ultimately unsustainable.

Prolonged anger drains emotional energy and keeps the body in a heightened state of stress. This dynamic also contributes to social polarization, where stereotypes and “dehumanizing” views of others dominate us (Halperin et al., 2014). Someone shared with me recently, “I stopped talking to my brother after the last election. The anger was so consuming it left me emotionally exhausted, and I regretted it later.”

Takeaway: Sitting with prolonged anger harms your mental and physical health.

2. Ambivalence leaves you emotionally stuck.

When relationships are strained, ambivalence—the experience of holding conflicting emotions simultaneously—can weigh heavily on Mental health. It’s possible to feel both love and frustration toward someone, but this unresolved tension can lead to rumination, anxiety, and difficulty moving forward emotionally (Mikulincer & Shaver, 2007).

Ambivalence also disrupts sleep, drains energy, and increases cortisol levels, weakening the immune system over time. I’ve personally experienced feeling stuck between wanting to reconnect with someone and not knowing how to handle my feelings of betrayal. The limbo was exhausting.

Takeaway: Avoiding ambivalence may feel easier in the short term, but it only prolongs emotional stress. Addressing your feelings directly allows you to find relief and regain emotional energy.

3. Navigating difficult connections builds resilience.

Engaging with differing perspectives, especially with loved ones, builds social and Emotional resilience, enhancing overall well-being (Ala, Ramos-Campos, & Relva, 2024). Resilience helps you adapt to challenges, regulate emotions, and approach conflicts with greater flexibility and patience. I’ve personally experienced close relationships that endured political divides, and while it required intentional conversations, over time, this strengthened our bond and improved our ability to navigate future challenges together.

Takeaway: Staying connected, when possible, builds the emotional strength to navigate differences without severing bonds with people you love.

4. Estrangement fuels loneliness.

Cutting ties with loved ones often exacerbates loneliness, which is strongly linked to depression, anxiety, and premature death (Holt-Lunstad, 2021). Beyond the immediate loss, estrangement ripples into other areas of life, affecting relationships with non-estranged family members, colleagues, and potential partners or friends (Agllias, 2017). I’ve seen how one estrangement can pave the way for others, almost making it feel easier—or habitual—to sever ties, as if each instance reinforces the practice of disconnection.

Takeaway: Relationships, even imperfect ones, can be sources of joy and connection. Staying engaged reduces the emotional and physical risks of isolation while preserving opportunities for meaningful time together.

How Do I Navigate The Holiday Season with Differences in the Mix?

We’ve established that, barring toxicity or abuse, canceling people we love doesn’t have to be the only option—and it may not be the healthiest one. Practicing kindness toward ourselves offers a path forward during divided times (Horn, 2024).

This means making intentional choices that protect your mental well-being while keeping the door open for preserving important relationships. This approach centers on stepping away from extremes, embracing a balanced perspective, and creating space for calm, thoughtful reflection, and deeper understanding. Navigating this post-election tension, especially during the holidays, requires a careful balance of self-preservation and spending time together.

Consider these tips for managing political divides during holiday interactions, while keeping your well-being at the forefront (American Psychological Association, 2024; American Psychological Association, 2022; Warner, Colaner, & Park, 2021):

1. Choose to avoid political discussions.

• Recognize that you are not obligated. At holiday gatherings, remind yourself that you are not required to engage in political conversations. Protect your peace by steering discussions toward shared interests or holiday traditions.
• Set boundaries ahead of time. Politely request upfront that the family agree to keep politics off the table. For example: “Let’s keep our holiday gathering free of political discussion or joking this year.”
• Redirect conversations. If someone brings up a contentious topic, redirect the discussion to something neutral or joyful, such as reminiscing about past holidays, sharing funny stories, or talking about plans for the new year. It’s also ok to remind them of the agreed-upon rule.

2. Choose to engage in respectful dialogue.

• Approach with curiosity, not judgment. If political topics arise and you feel comfortable engaging, prioritize understanding over debating. Ask open-ended questions like: “What makes you feel strongly about that?” Truly listening can diffuse tension and preserve your energy.
• Create a calm environment. If discussing differences at a gathering, choose a private and relaxed setting, like a walk after dinner or a one-on-one moment. Avoid addressing sensitive topics in a group where emotions may escalate.
• Set boundaries on duration. Set a clear topic of focus and time limit for the discussion. If a conversation feels too heavy, respectfully end it. For example: “I appreciate hearing your perspective, but I feel my emotions rising. Let’s switch gears and enjoy the evening.”

3. Choose to step back when necessary.

• Take a break. If emotions run high or conversations feel overwhelming, excuse yourself for a few minutes. Step outside, take deep breaths, or find a quiet space to center yourself.
• Recognize when to let go. Sometimes, the healthiest choice is to disengage entirely from a difficult interaction. Focus on connecting with other family members or participating in easy or distracting activities, like playing games with children or helping with holiday preparations.
• Know it’s OK to leave early. If the environment feels too draining, honor your limits and politely excuse yourself. Protecting your peace doesn’t require justifying your choice in detail.

Closing Thoughts

Maintaining connections with loved ones and navigating political divides during the holidays—or any time—doesn’t mean compromising your values or tolerating abusive or toxic behavior; those are non-negotiables. The suggestions here assume that respect, love, shared history, and a mutual desire to stay connected are present.

What’s more, taking this approach doesn’t require agreeing with someone’s choices or dismissing your beliefs. Rather, it empowers you to honor your needs, set healthy boundaries, and process complex emotions.

Keeping bonds with loved ones when political divides run deep is undeniably challenging—I know this firsthand. There have been moments when the effort felt overwhelming, but I’ve come to believe it’s a way forward worth pursuing. For me, it’s about preserving relationships that matter, while setting boundaries or having difficult conversations. Dehumanizing others whose views deeply conflict with mine has never served me well—and research supports this. Instead, I’ve found that respect and intentional dialogue pave the way toward healing.

By staying open to connection, you not only protect meaningful relationships but also build emotional and physical resilience. Bottom line: Choosing connection, when possible, opens the door to understanding, mends divides, and takes the first step toward healing—in my opinion, an opportunity worth embracing.