Seventeen-year-old Marina walked down a crowded street in her hometown. Soon to be a senior in high school, she found herself surrounded by college students who had just returned for the fall semester. They filled the sidewalks, shopping for dorm supplies, chatting in groups, and moving confidently through the town. For Marina, however, this scene quickly became overwhelming and distressing.
Marina spent much of her day preoccupied with how she looked. Insecure about her body, she constantly compared herself to others, desperately seeking a sense of validation. Yet this habit rarely brought relief—more often it left her feeling discouraged and depressed. As she walked, her eyes scanned the college students around her, focusing on young women her age. Out of all possible comparisons, she locked in on one specific body part: their stomachs.
Research shows that women often compare individual body parts to those of others. Marina, sensitive about her stomach, carefully examined whether her peers’ midsections appeared flatter, thinner, or more toned than her own. She longed for a lean, flat stomach and used these comparisons as a distorted measure of her self-worth.
Appearance-based comparisons, however, do more than worsen body dissatisfaction. They also encourage reliance on external validation, through face-to-face encounters or on social media. Studies consistently find that people who engage in body comparisons tend to compare themselves upward, meaning they focus on those they perceive as more attractive. The larger the perceived gap, the greater the risk of body dissatisfaction and disordered eating behaviors, regardless of race or ethnicity.
This explains why Marina often felt worse after comparing herself to others. In her mind, she placed herself at the lower end of a gap between how she looked and how she wanted to look. Afterward, she felt unhappy, disliked her body even more, and became fixated on losing weight to “close the gap.” Because these comparisons happened frequently, the effects compounded over time.
Research further shows that women dissatisfied with their bodies engage in more upward comparisons than those who are body-satisfied. These upward comparisons are linked to greater negative emotions, heightened body dissatisfaction, and increased urges to exercise or diet to reshape and shrink the body.
So, what can help young women like Marina, who walk into a room or down a sidewalk feeling compelled to body-compare? Years ago, one of my patients developed a simple yet powerful strategy, consistent with principles of cognitive-behavioral therapy. She began by noticing when her attention drifted toward appearance comparisons. Once she caught herself, she deliberately shifted her focus elsewhere—like flipping the channel in her brain.
Her creative solution was to focus on shoes. Instead of sizing up someone’s body, she looked at their footwear and made up a story about the person based on their choice of shoes. What kind of person might wear those sneakers, boots, or sandals? By redirecting her imagination, she disrupted the negative cycle of body comparison with curiosity and storytelling.
There are many evidence-based strategies to reduce body dissatisfaction and comparison. Mirror exposure therapy, for instance, encourages individuals to look at themselves in the mirror while repeating positive affirmations about their bodies. Kristin Neff’s Self-compassion approach teaches people to treat themselves with the same kindness they would offer a friend, replacing criticism with empathy, mindfulness, and a recognition of shared humanity. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) also equips individuals to catch, challenge, and reframe negative body thoughts into more constructive ones. Prevention programs further help by shifting focus from appearance to body functionality, acceptance, and critical thinking about cultural ideals of thinness. Meanwhile, the growing presence of diverse body types on social media has been shown to foster a healthier self-image.
For Marina, change came gradually. She grew tired of the time and energy lost to body comparisons and realized how much they disrupted her healthy identity development. Slowly, she learned to redirect her focus—sometimes with her shoe-storytelling strategy, other times by valuing her qualities beyond physical appearance. Over time, these new habits helped her break free from the grip of constant appearance comparison and reclaim more of her life.
