Parenting is an all-consuming job—one that calls for constant caretaking, problem solving, emotional labor, and financial resources. Today, many parents are juggling all of these responsibilities with less emotional support than ever before.

Given these pressures, it’s no surprise that parental stress is on the rise. In 2023, nearly 50% of parents surveyed reported feeling overwhelmed most days.

That stress doesn’t just affect parents—it can ripple outward. Research suggests that stress can take a toll on well-being, contributing to depression, heightened anxiety, and strain in relationships. And its effects don’t stop there.

A recent review from the University of California, San Francisco (UCSF), which analyzed 153 studies, found that high levels of stress in a child’s environment can shape their development in lasting ways. Chronic stress can influence brain development, strain parent-child relationships, disrupt learning, and even contribute to physical health problems.

The good news, however, is that interventions, even small ones, can make a meaningful difference—for both children and their caregivers.

Greater Good spoke with Nicki Bush, a professor of psychiatry and pediatrics at UCSF and the lead author of the review, about how stress affects families—and what can help.

Juli Fraga: How does exposure to stress affect children’s ability to regulate their emotions?

Nicki Bush: When children are highly stressed, especially for long periods, it can lead to chronic activation of their biological stress response systems. This stress response helps us all cope with threats in the short run. But when this activation system goes on for too long, a child is at greater risk of developing behavioral, emotional, and learning challenges.

For example, children might become hypervigilant about potential threats or respond with anger in neutral situations, such as when another person asks them a benign question.

Notably, many stress-affected processes that impact emotion regulation also affect our immune system and bodily repair and growth. So, chronically stressed children may become physically ill, or the stress may exacerbate prior medical conditions (like asthma) due to overactivation of their stress biology without sufficient time for the body to rest and recover.

JF: Can you talk about how parents’ stress might affect their children’s response to stress?

NB: Children, especially when they are young, rely on caregivers to help them manage their interpretations of threat, as well as their bodily and behavioral responses to stress.

When parents manage their own responses to adversity in a healthy manner, a child is more likely to feel safe. We also know that modeling healthy coping helps children learn these skills and fare better.

Healthy stress management helps parents prevent overwhelm and work through their own life challenges and emotions in an adaptive manner. And when the stress volume and negative reactions get turned down, parents and caregivers have greater bandwidth to respond to their child’s emotional needs. This, in turn, protects kids from the health and behavior risks linked to experiences of adversity.

JF: What are some ways parents can manage their stress, especially when families are facing many hardships?

NB: In an ideal world, our society would support caregivers and children through policies and programs that meet families’ needs. The current lack of resources is one reason the former U.S. surgeon general, Vivek Murthy, declared parental stress a public health issue.

As we work towards that goal, there are many tools parents can use to handle stress. And I want to clarify that coping doesn’t need to be a heavy lift for overly burdened parents. Not every parent has a lot of financial resources or time flexibility, but even a few minutes of slow breathing, listening to an uplifting song, a short walk, or calling a friend to troubleshoot a problem can have a powerful impact on your mental well-being.

This is especially important to try right before picking up your child from day care or school. Taking time to rest and reset better equips parents and caregivers to hold space for what their child needs and enjoy the interaction more themselves!

In today’s busy world, it’s easy for parents to overlook their own well-being in order to prioritize their children. But self-care isn’t selfish. By tending to your own needs, you model healthy ways to cope with stress and optimize your capacity to be a better parent.

JF: After adverse life experiences—such as divorce, family violence, or serious illness—how can parents support their children in working through their stress so it doesn’t negatively affect their physical and Mental health?

NB: The most critical thing is to ensure that children feel safe and to acknowledge the trauma or major stressors that may be ongoing, such as from divorce or loss of a loved one.

Since it’s painful to talk about loss and trauma, many parents may believe that doing so will upset their kids. Acknowledging what happened and their child’s emotions about it validates their reality and reminds kids that the entire family can work together through hard moments.

Furthermore, addressing trauma directly while supporting a caregiver’s capacity to have a positive relationship with their children is a powerful component of a child’s healing. Science also shows that supportive relationships with caregivers, friends, teachers, and peers can buffer children from the effects of adversity.

While stress can be particularly harmful to children, adversity isn’t destiny, explains Bush. Not all children experience long-term harm. Our bodies evolved to manage stress responses and many children are remarkably resilient.

Still, if children have been exposed to major trauma or seem to be struggling even after relatively minor events, the key is to seek support. Trauma-informed therapies like Child-Parent Psychotherapy can improve children’s behavior, mood, and biology, which can prevent kids and their parents from developing more serious stress-related conditions over time.

In places like California, many families can receive family-focused trauma-informed therapy that is covered by their insurance. Some programs even support families in accessing such care without a formal diagnosis—recognizing that support shouldn’t come only after problems become severe.

“Investing in the well-being of parents and children improves the lives and health of our population,” says Bush.