The past few months have given me a deeply personal look into our healthcare system—from both the patient’s and the family’s perspectives. As a surgeon with over 20 years of experience, I am well aware of the challenges patients face: the frustration of long wait times, the stress of navigating a complex system, and the emotional toll of facing health crises. However, stepping into the role of a daughter gave me a new perspective, one that deepened my understanding of the emotional weight families carry when navigating healthcare for a loved one.

Throughout my career, I have made it a priority to treat patients with the same care I would want for my own family. This philosophy has led me to dig deeper when symptoms don’t add up and to make diagnoses that might otherwise be missed—like the case of an 80-year-old man whose vague vision complaints ultimately revealed a gastrointestinal bleed. But when my own father’s health took a turn, I realized that no amount of professional experience could prepare me for the emotions that followed.

Watching my father struggle through a severe, unexplained illness, followed by another, was a deeply emotional experience. It was the first time I’d seen him so ill, and without a clear direction on how best to treat his condition. My medical background allowed me to advocate for his care and understand the treatment decisions being made; however, it didn’t take away the helplessness or worry I felt. Seeing my dad, so strong, suddenly become vulnerable put a spotlight on the patient experience in healthcare.

Thankfully, my father received excellent care and has since recovered. However, these experiences opened my eyes to the cracks in our healthcare system from a user perspective. During his hospitalization, he was placed in an overflow unit, and although the medical staff did their best, it was clear the system was stretched thin—not only by an influx of patients but also by a shortage of healthcare professionals. In a system already under pressure, this shortage adds layers of stress for both providers and families, affecting interactions and the overall healthcare environment. Medical teams work hard to provide quality care, but the constraints they face and the high-stakes nature of their work can make it challenging to consistently deliver personalized support and empathy.

I found myself torn between my role as a medical professional and my role as a daughter—staying by his bedside for hours with my mother, not wanting to step away for fear of missing the doctors, while juggling my own responsibilities. These moments reinforced for me the critical importance of empathy in healthcare—not just for patients but for their families as well. Effective communication and emotional support are essential, yet these elements are often strained or lacking in a healthcare system that faces real resource limitations.

Reflecting on the many patients I’ve treated over the years, I wondered how families without medical knowledge manage the fear, uncertainty, and emotional toll of a loved one’s illness. The emotional weight, coupled with the demands of everyday life, is often overlooked but profoundly impacts the healthcare journey. The challenges families face—and the challenges providers face in meeting those needs—highlight the need for a system that can balance both clinical and emotional care.

The past few months have renewed my commitment to provide excellent clinical care while also recognizing the emotional and psychological needs of patients and families. My work in neuroleadership has shown me how understanding the brain’s response to stress, empathy, and decision-making can help build resilience in healthcare environments. As I continue exploring ways to support leadership development and Emotional resilience for healthcare providers, I see bridging these gaps as essential—the emotional weight carried by families is just as important as the clinical care we provide.

Simple Steps for Providers and Families

For Healthcare Providers:
Take time for self-reflection and empathy-building exercises, such as mindfulness or Emotional intelligence training. These practices enhance resilience, improve awareness, and foster better communication in high-pressure environments. Even small actions, like taking a moment to check in personally with patients and their families, can make a significant impact, even within the system’s constraints.

For Families:
Don’t hesitate to ask questions, seek clarity, or request additional support from patient advocates or social workers. Peer groups or counseling services can also provide valuable support for managing the emotional demands of caregiving. Remember, you don’t have to navigate it alone.