How to Intentionally Change Your Personality
When we talk about our personality, many of us treat it as a fixed, unchanging part of us. But the truth is our personality can evolve and often does, even without us deliberately trying. For example, many of us are more open to new experiences and willing to take more risks when we’re younger, and […]
The Architect of Your Happiness
We are a goal-oriented society. We chase achievements with relentless dedication: the soulmate, the high-powered career, the enviable body, the life that looks perfect from the outside. We invest our time, our energy, and our hope in these external milestones, believing they are the bedrock of a happy life. But what if the key to […]
Why Purpose Doesn’t Have to Be All or Nothing
As human beings, we often fall prey to all-or-nothing thinking. The American Psychological Association defines this as dichotomous thinking—the tendency to interpret experiences in terms of polar opposites: good or bad, happy or sad, success or failure. At first glance, this kind of thinking might seem harmless, maybe even motivating. But research suggests the consequences […]
Can Altruism Help Us Through Hard Times?
Can helping others make us healthier? When scientists scanned the brains of people who donated money to charity, they found something surprising: Giving activated the same reward pathways as personal pleasures like food or music. But even more striking, the brain’s reward system responded more strongly to acts of generosity than to self-indulgence. The findings […]
What Happened When I Stopped Ignoring My Body
“When we listen to our body with kindness, we honor the present moment and give ourselves the care we truly need.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh It started back in middle school for me—the need to feel thin in my English riding breeches. I’d compare myself to others at the barn—the ones with the long, slender legs and […]
What Helps Dads in Transitioning to Parenthood?
For expecting fathers, the transition to parenthood can be a transformative period filled with excitement, awe, and pride for fulfilling a meaningful role in the life of their to-be-born baby. It can also entail a great deal of stress, which can lead to strain, despair, and worry. Indeed, research finds that 5% to 15% of […]
Moving Beyond “Right” and “Wrong” in Relationships
Terry Real’s influence in the world of couples therapy is hard to overstate. A bestselling author, renowned social worker, and respected clinician, Real is known for blending emotional depth with clear-eyed pragmatism. He tells the truth, but always with compassion. Early in the COVID-19 pandemic, Real hosted a virtual gathering for fellow therapists. His message—that […]
How My Mother’s Alcoholism Shaped Me—and How I’m Healing Now
“The journey of the perfect daughter is not about perfection; it’s about finding the courage to be imperfect, to be human.” ~Robert Ackerman, Perfect Daughters Growing up in a home shadowed by addiction is like living in a house with no foundation. The ground beneath you is unstable, the walls feel fragile, and the roof […]
How Social Media Brings Out the Worst in Us
Is social media harming my well-being? This is a question I often ask myself, wondering if I should keep using it or take a deliberate break from it. As someone who follows the science of well-being, I’ve seen its potential for harm and the benefits of not using it. But I also enjoy it and […]
The Ridiculous Trend of Gatekeeping Autism
I’d like you to imagine, just for a moment, what it would look like if English professors gatekept literature the way that some Mental health professionals—and casual members of the general public—gatekeep autism. “I’ve been reading a lot lately. Have you read One Hundred Years of Solitude? That book really moved me. I think it […]