Young children see their parents as their greatest role models. They seek the approval of their parents and want to be like their parents in as many ways as possible. They notice when their parents are there and when they’re gone. Children take note of more than we tend to assume or give them credit for, and thus, the importance of parental behavior cannot be overstated.

Over many decades of research, we’ve learned about the importance of parental presence and various attachment styles from Mental health professionals and research psychologists. More recently, many parenting-centered publications tend to have a bit more urgency laced throughout.

We know that being physically and emotionally present for children is critical. In Hold On To Your Kids: Why Parents Need To Matter More Than Peers, Dr. Gabor Maté writes in great detail about the significance of parental influence on children’s behaviors, wellness, and sense of safety. Erica Komisar, LCSW, shares the importance of moms staying home with children during the earliest years of life in Being There: Why Prioritizing Motherhood In The First Three Years Matters. According to her therapeutic experience and review of research literature, the presence of the mother allows the child to develop a more secure attachment, which helps the child to be more emotionally well, resilient, and healthy.

Parent’s relationships with food influence their children

At an even more granular level, we can see how the everyday behaviors parents model regarding foundational health — such as eating, sleeping, and moving — shape the patterns and habits that emerge among children. New research from a team of behavioral scientists in the UK suggests that there is a direct, significant relationship between the way parents relate to food and their children’s food practices.

In the studies, parents were assessed and sorted into four different types of food relationships: typical eating, avid eating, emotional eating, and avoidant eating. The parents then provided information about the eating behaviors of their 3-to-6-year-old children.

About 40% of the parents were typical eaters, without any severe or intense behaviors related to food. The avid eaters — about 37% — were parents whose decision to eat was more heavily guided by cues from the environment and their emotions, rather than their own hunger cues. They scored low on satiety responsiveness and slowness in eating measures. Almost 16% of the parents were emotional eaters, who ate in response to emotion more than any other cues and were more likely to engage in emotional overeating. The remaining parents (6%) were avoidant eaters who did not enjoy food as much as the others and were picky about food selections.

Children tended to have a similar food relationship as their parents. The similarity in food relationship style was especially evident in those who had avid or avoidant eating behaviors.

Parents with an avid or emotional style of food relationship tended to use food for emotional regulation more than parents with typical eating behaviors, which correlated with their children also having an avid or emotional food relationship.

These parents were also less likely to create a healthy, positive food environment at home. When the food environment was not healthy, children were more likely to have avoidant relationships with food.

Changing relationships with foods and emotions

Parental behaviors can shape children’s behaviors in every aspect of life, including food choices and numerous behaviors regarding eating. The findings from these data analyses provide insight into the tightly bound nature of parent and child food relationships, especially in regard to emotional regulation. Today, CDC data indicates that 20% of youth aged 12-18 are living with type 2 diabetes. Though behaviors can be changed at any point in life, it is arguably easier to move toward adulthood with healthy food behaviors that were established in childhood, rather than reconfigure those habits as an adult. Given the major influence of parental food relationships on children suggested by this research, perhaps more continued work in this field can function as a catalyst for parents to establish healthier food relationships — first for themselves, and then for their children.

Suggestions for shifting food relationships with children at home

• Establish sources of comfort that are not food-related.
• Celebrate accomplishments with fun activities or experiences, rather than sweets.
• Keep healthy food options available at home regularly.
• Include children in cooking and baking processes.
• Eat at regular times or on a schedule that is predictable for children.