BFRB Treatment: Does a Child Have to Want to Stop?
It’s true we can’t force another person to be ready to change. But with Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors (BFRBs), like hair pulling, skin picking, and nail biting, ambivalence about stopping isn’t resistance. It’s expected because the behavior is serving a function. It may be regulating arousal, soothing a difficult feeling, providing reliable sensory input in an […]
When Self-Awareness Turns into Overthinking and How to Stop
“Be gentle with yourself. You’re doing the best you can.” ~Unknown For years, I believed Self-awareness was the answer to everything. If I could just understand myself better—my triggers, my patterns, my childhood wounds—I would finally feel calm. Stable. Healed. So I read the books. I journaled every night. I replayed conversations in my head, […]
How to Stop Bias from Getting Between You and Your…
Teachers, think back to when you were your students’ age. Picture yourself: who you were, how you spent your time, what mattered to you. Now, bring to mind an educator you felt close to. Someone who saw you for who you were and even who you could be. What did it feel like to be […]
How to Stop Measuring Your Body Against Others
Seventeen-year-old Marina walked down a crowded street in her hometown. Soon to be a senior in high school, she found herself surrounded by college students who had just returned for the fall semester. They filled the sidewalks, shopping for dorm supplies, chatting in groups, and moving confidently through the town. For Marina, however, this scene […]
5 Powerful Mental Shifts to Stop Worrying About What Other People Think
“Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner.” ~Lao Tzu We carefully pick out what we wear to the gym to make sure we look good in the eyes of the other gymgoers. We beat ourselves up after meetings, running through everything we said (or didn’t say), worried that coworkers […]
The Mean Instinct: Why We Exclude Others and How to Stop
“In a world where you can be anything, be kind.” ~Unknown “Girls are mean!” I nodded knowingly as my boss struggled to explain the difference between raising boys and girls. I couldn’t speak to raising boys, but I remembered all too well what it was like when my daughters were growing up. Girls traveled in […]
The Changes I’m Making to Stop Wasting My Limited Time
“Contentment has more to do with a heart of joy as life unfolds than it ever will with a life filled with stuff.” ~Kate Summers Recently, an older friend who was no longer able to attend to life without assistance was placed in a senior care facility. From my observance, she seemed content, and her […]
How to Stop Living in Perpetual Guilt and Forgive Yourself
“I have learned that the person I have to ask for forgiveness from the most is myself. You must love yourself. You have to forgive yourself every day. Whenever you remember a shortcoming, a flaw, you have to tell yourself, ‘That’s just fine.’ You have to forgive yourself so much until you don’t even see […]